Last Night

It was Sadies.
At the beginning...it was fine.
But something...
was off.

Towards the middle I started to feel like he went with me...because of her.
Because he used to/still does like her.
I mean, I don't like him that way but it still hurt.
Because he had done what i tried to do.
"I'll look to like, if looking liking move."
And it didn't.
And as that went in the end i fully wished he had been someone else.
Because then I wouldn't have to deal with her.
I'd have to deal with something else.
But I did have to deal with her.
At least in retrospect.
You know who it'd be.
I do to.
I won't lie.
And then last night/this morning, lying in bed, I realized it.
I did ask him because of her. Because I was jealous.
I'll admit it.
I also will admit that I wanted to prove to the one I wish I would've asked that I was over him.
I'm not.
Admited.

This is getting know where, but at least I'll admit what the other one wont.
Even if it is on a blog.
Fuck.

I'm okay though. For now.
I'm doing alright. Trust me.

So go on like no one read this, as they don't.
-S.
"The french are glad to die, for love"
-idk....